Back online, alone again...

While having a trip around with the office bike.... These people are Mahafale, thats the tribe they belong to! (madagascar)

Not been writting here for a very long time.... I guess life has been a little to busy to get the time to write to myself again... inspiration and feelings for writting here are very sporadic.... I don't really know if anyone reads this, but in anycase, this is just another session I write with myself. Im in boredom bangla jessore city, and its a real test to put up with. This place must be the most dirty and disease infested one I have ever been into since I Started traveling.... Dengue fever, Malarya, lepra.... a lot more... smells, dirty hands all the time, smelling hell...... just enough...

Im in a lost town, where there are so far no expat seen, and where all there is to see is dirt.. now in an office on my own, noone to talk to, just an internet connection, and a hord of Moskitos attacking from all sides. I might just be lucky enough to transform into one of them soon!

Christina the adorable! No! its not my daughter! (madagascar)

Anway way, Ill try to catch up a little on thing by pasting here a few picture of the event happened since Lebanon..... Its got to be, Madagascar, Mauritius, Iran, and Bangladesh....

Take care...

Nahr El Bared (Tripoli)

It has now been a month that I am in Lebanon, working on this small scale Emergency project. Its been a month, and yet, the real action has not started. The Palestinian refugee camp is still being shuttered by heavy mortars and gunfire. It has become a routine to hear the permanent "BOUUMM" from the place where I stay. The unfortunate people of this camp had to move to another camp near by called Beddawi. As a result, this camp is now overcrowded with double the people it would usually take. The refugees, have been living in the camps for generation, and seeing their 2Km square territory is extremely painful. The other day, I was with one of the refugee from Nahr El Bared camp, we were driving along, and were in a location where you can actually peacefully watch the mortars blowing building into dust. As we were watching this, I discovered he had his house there, which he had just morgaged for. He explained to me that his house was reduced to none, and that is futur was worst than is present! Not only that now he lived in some other famillies places, but also, he has to prepare for the return to the ruins of his ex-house, and ensure he keep working as usual to pay back the morgage he had taken to buy a very modest house, such as they are in the refugee camps. All in all, he will receive a thousand dollars to compansate his faith, and the rest is entirely up to him. Basically having a family with kids and no house to live in, is already sad, but on top having to p[ay a morgage for a house that has been destroyed by the army is even worst..... I still dont know what I could have said to this so strong and unfortunate man.

Mauritania - Morocco - Palestine - Israel - Lebanon

Been a while, and as usual, im coming up with that sentence.... Well, it seem as if its been along way for me since Sudan where I started writting this blog.. And I'm starting to try and understand why my motivation in writting through here has decreased so much! Its all to do with myself getting used to the job, and a little less confused, but also with life having been so busy! After the last trip to Somalia, I have been doing alot, but probably so much of it was full on, that I didn't feel the need to write to myself!

After spending sometime in Mauritania, for the fourth time in a year, spent some holidays in Morrocco! About two weeks! I wanted to find out about this stories I had, and also, it was the only place available at the time, near where I was based (MAU). What I'll shortly say, is that I was not impressed at all by this country, the police hassles you all the time, people are just not entertaining at all, and you have to watch out all the time, and the cities (Marakech, Agadir, Essaouira, and Casablanca) did not impress me at all. I would put that one on the last position in the priority list of the country I liked! Anyway, that only me, maybe others will find their dreams in there.

Following that, about 5 weeks later, Im off to Palestine (Occupied Territories) and Israel (of course, you have to get there to go to Palestine). Jerusalem was an amazing city to see, and I'd say that I would never replace this trip for any other! it was a fantastic opportunity to discover this amazing troubled land where most of religions history referes to! I saw the Jesus grave, Mohammed portal to Heaven, and the Jewish with Adam! It's just a breath taking city I must say and for me who converts into a muslim, it was a beautiful moment to do my first paryers! I loved it all the way and this city has everything that others don't have! All the religions together in the same place!

The darker side of it, is all this never ending war between people which in the end are no different than any other, they are led by politics and dragged into darkness! Religions seems to be a good tool to politicians to ensure complete control over their own interest! What a pity! It was so frustrating to see a country with plenty of land, and luxury on one side, and an other with absolutely nothing, and povrety all around.. I wont comment much on that for reason some you will surely understand!
Maybe one day, I'll spit all this out, but I doubt it happens here! :-)

Half way through my life in this very emotional land, I headed to Jordan, passing through Albin Bridge, border with Israel and Jordan! this was another so fantastic journey, with a stunning landscape, and the famous and notorious Dead Sea! I surely cannot explain how wonderful it feels to be in the middle of this extraterrestrial land with eroded DRY mountains, and this so amazing dying Dead Sea! :-)
On this Mission, Mogadishu was well far from my mind, and altho I will never forget Mogadishu trhilling experience, there are time where nothing disturbs my mind from these amazing beauty of earth!

The journey to Jordan was paradise, and I made my way through to Aman, on the same day! There I spend only 7 hours, before heading to Lebanon! Arrival in Lebanon happened at night, with a Dash 9 C400, and it was not without trouble. My luggage were forgotten in Aman, and I had to change my schedule before being able to take on my duty! After spending a very confortable night in Beirut, I headed North to the troubled area of Tripoli! For those who have no idea, there are two refugees camp where one of them has been assulted by the lebanese military forces due to a siege of the Fatah Al Islam group. Again, Im sure some will see my point in not getting into more details.... In the end, I am now still in Lebanon where the situation is getting more and more tense, to the point where I will very certainly have to give up on my return in Palestine!

All I can say, and I beleive that this will not offend anyone who truly beleive in Humanity, is that the Palestinian people have suffered more than any other people I have heard of! And even if still some will say that they were the victims of there mistake, I will always keep in my mind that by now, they have paid the price, and that there is no reason for the new generation to still pay tribute as much. It must be taff for a people to always having lived in a restricted area, which looks like jail on a big scale while there is so much space available for living in the place they orgininated from... Its so hurtful to see that even now, in 2007 there is still this kind of un-humanity towards brother humans... what can I say, or think... its just very sad!

I should remain over here for another month, inshallah, and hopefully get to meet more of the Lebanese people! I love this country and its people, I love the ever streching costal view, and could very well see myself living in such a place. However, there is still alot to be done for people to live in peace here, and As much as the Palestinian people suffered, the Lebanese people also had to go through a lot more than may deserve.... I'm still thinking of getting a life here, All I need is enough time to find a house! Imagine, view on the sea everyday, up in the mountain side, and near from work! Tempting isnt it! of course you will have to cope with the usual bombs there and there, but thats how you come to beleive that there is a god... its when you have passed by them that you understand that the only safe place is in beleif of your luck!

All I have to do not, is wait, and inshallah I will evenatually find my love and therefore home! This could well be in Lebanon!

;-)

Back from Mogadishu - Somalia

Hello Hello,

Phewwwwwwwww.... releasedddddddd, when stress evacuates your body, it does like a waterfall, physically touchable, and mentally relaxing! It's like you empty your body from all the event recorded from previous days, its like archieving your new files the souvenir closet! After these 9 days in Mogadishu, working long hours under some kind of stressfull environement, is eventually the end. Now, it time to relax for two days in Nairobi, and then I'll be off again, but for now, its time for stress release! inspire, expire! it also works for the head! :-)

Some pictures from Mogadishu....



Scared.....

Latest News, Mogadishu under fire.

Lunch time today, mortar and gunfire on Mogadishu Int'l airport:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6293897.stm (so quick, as usual its all here).

Oops...

Back to work

Three weeks sleeping and sleeping, but yet, its time to go back. Emergencies, do not wait for Mr Fab to have his rest. Its time to go to work again.

The day starts like this, once its decided of where he should go, its time to wake up! 7:00am, Fab packs his clothes and few belongs in a 60l bag pack. An additional small buisness suitcase will be taken to fit the valuable stuff in it: work laptop, a hard drive with a few photos, music, and other things, the legendary ipod, and a headset. Lunch, its rather sad despite the efforts of the family trying their best to hide their worries and sadness to see him go again. Still its a very intense moment as each keeps inside his pain, but tries to enjoy as much as possible this time. The last lunch home was potatoes with savoyard cheese! Delicious! Thanks!!!

Time is for the ride to the train station, 20 minutes away from him. It nothing, indeed, but its certainly the worst journey on the way to work. It also time to HUG very deeply and lovely his mother. None of mum or fabrice cries, its a matter of respect for each other. Father will seat on the passenger side while fab will drive the car to the train station, just for the good fun of driving in a "civilized traffic". Arrived at the train station, while mum is certainly already crying rivers, dad have a coffe with him. As dad is very reserved and does not like to show his sorrow, he will leave before the train comes. A last big hug for him too, and father and son, are appart. Dad will certainly drive home and make sure that mum isn't going mad about it, after all, she does eventually got used to this come and go thing (she said). Fabs take a last sip of the coffe, and jumps in the train! This is the thinking, dreaming, wondering, scaring trip to Paris. Its when he has in his head all these things about what where why.... its a 2h30 journey. Thats more than enough to think of life for. Slowly the mind gets ready for the work to start. Its like this everytime, but everytime, its becoming more and more difficult to leave home for these first two journey. Then from the moment he is in Paris, it becomes easier... it like he is away for good already, and this makes it all a lot easier. He will have to spend one night in Paris to ensure that the plane is being taken ontime tomorrow. From the train station it will be underground to a nice area of Paris, where Fab has arranged to meet a friend. But first, he will find a hotel where to sleep for the night. Unlike usual most friend who could provide somewhere to squat, there is none this time. Hotel is found, time to standby till the evening, its 16:30.

22:15, out the hotel, walk for 15 minutes to the friend place, from St michel to Place Monge. Here she is, late but anyway here, they both walk to get the car some one km away from here, yeah, it isnt easy to park in paris! This friend is someone from pakistan, who happened to be from paris, and worth keeping in touch with as a friend from pakistan in France (through she is french...). A small party before bed time, and by 2:00am Fab is asleep at the hotel, with himself, of course!!! come on!

10;00am off to the airport, check out the hotel, underground, terminal, 2 hours wait, in the plane, flying over europe, and 2:30 local time, arrived in Dubai UAE. Hotel driver is here, so there he goes to the hotel, straight to bed, but not able to fall asleep before 4am, it will be a short night. Not much time to do anything, 8am, heading to the office, the mission now, is to pick up essential "Nomade" articles (mosquito net, toilet things, survival kit, and 50 kilos of tools), oh, and I forget, money, plane ticket, and mission infos.

12:00, Taxi is here, ride to the airport, check in (1h queue), terminal (1h), in the plane, flying over to Nairobi, Kenya! At last, arrived to work! now things almost start.... almost yeah... still, Somalia is where the real work start...

Fab will be in Nairobi for 6 days, time to sort permissions and security clearing to enter this hot spot. The first location to work in will be Mogadishu for 8 days. Mogadishu is the worst place in entire Somalia in terms of security, so things have been arranged so that permissions to enter come from the highest authorities possible, and that an immediate evacuation, if need be, is done easily. What does this mean ? well, the entire 8 days will be spent in a wall surrounded counpound near a runaway for the plane to take off. 400m to be accurate. This will allow quick escape, just in case things gets out of hand like its happening in Somalia for the last years. In the end, I hope this country will find its way to peace and unity for all. After Moga, will be two other towns for another 14 days, and then, who knows whats next after that....

Fab is stressed about it of course, its probably the most dangerous place he ever had to put his foot into. Its also going to be stressfull to be with only two other expates, in the middle of a warfield. But somehow, he will still go there. There are a million reasons to discuss about it, and probably two outcomes possible, Dead or alive.

I Wasn't to sure I'd write anything about this, but I guess its better to be said, just in case... I know its dangerous, and possibly deadly... But, its got to be done, I have escaped an other conflict before, by refusing to go, but then, in the end, I do have to pay a tribute for my collegues who went, when I didnt. And afterall, Im not yet about to leave this work, so what the heck, I go. Will see what happen, in the end, I do beleive, that the chances to be killed somewhere, are equal whether you are there or there, I beleive thats it all written, therefore, not eligible for stress overdose.

Anyway, no worries, im cool with it, I have had a great life so far, A one of a kind love once, and only once, reached a dream; that was to travel and see the world populations, do not be obsessed with money matters, a good health. The only thing I did not have yet, in this happy life, is a kid or many, and a loving wife to go with it, this will be once I have finished certain acheivment I got to do... anyway, its has not shown up yet, so why bother worrying about it, life does it all its own way, we can only decide to walk or stand.

To all readers, specially the one I know, and really also, a big Hug, and lots of love, from the deepest of my soul. Special message to 007: "I know you".

Take good care all, see you when you see me..... :)

Rest the last but not the least!

At last, its time to get some rest...... pfffffff.... pfffff, this is a wierd moment, where confusion mixes up my mine as i have seriously lost any concept on the word "Home". I remember writting something about taking my home everywere I go... I guess it is still true, but god its been hard this year to even have time to think about home. This intense moving around has been a blomsom of experiences in the deepest parts of quite a few ccountries of africa! I have checked this year odometer, and it turned out that I have done more than 65000 miles by air this year, and more than 10000Km by car in the last 5 months! Checked in/out an estimated 6o hotels, and slept in about 50 different places that were peoples place, outside, offices and so forth! I have been home 2 times since last december, and spent 2 month seeing the family, the rest of this has been 10 months on the move. more than 30 flight were taken, and I went via paris in transit 9 times this year!



Tonight will be my departure for France at 2345, thats the last flight of the year, hopefully!!!!!!

When I arrive home, it will be some xmas spirit already in all minds but then, at the moment, I have no clear idea of where i'll stand in that! of course, and as it always does now, Ill be more confortable with it after a few hours back in europe! it always does that, you arrive in a new place, you feel it with you eyes and hears, and then an hour later, you are settlted in your headspace again. Not that you know really where you are but physically, but you know where you are in your head within your head. In fact, its like if my environment has shrinked to the size of a water melon. Its not important anymore where my body goes, its where my head goes that matter. In the end, when you travel extensively and alone, you loose all your marks to which you would usually refer to for guidance in all you do. The same way you use your memories of a particular moment to try and replicate the same action with no errors, you find yourself refering to a lot more things you carry in your head to manage your life in the outside environement. Its actually hard to explain this to myself, and I feel that Im writting none sense right now, as i dont exactly know what this is all about. I have not been updating this blog for sometime, simply because I have had not a single moment to think about it, or energy to take the time to work on it. Its been hectic and fantastic, but now im glad to go home! I'll probably be off for 2 month from now, but who knows what emergency may rise in 2007!

I have learned a lots of things this year, technics, cultures, peoples..... and 2007 will be the time to put it all in application for the next expriences! Below I ve put a few pictures of the recent places I have been to...
In order from up to down: Mauritius Airport, Nkayi - Congo RoC, Cameroon - Yaounde - Roger Milla the football legend, Madagascar - Fabrice and Fabrice, Madagascar - Anbrossary - Croco, Madagascar - Aboassary, Madagascar - Lemurien -Amboassary, Madagascar - Abovombe - Two beautiful girls

Senegal - Dakar

Quick stop before Bissau (below), then tonight another stop there, maybe more photos... "Ile Senegal" just of the cost of Dakar, and below, the biggest mussle I have ever had in my plate, I was rather expecting these tiny orange one, like in brittany....

This is a few pictures from what Bissau looks like, Creole is a language I dont really master at all, but I manage to get around with french! I had a great time over here, and head this afternoon for Dakar Senegal! Tonight should be pretty cool, I'll hopefully meet up with a friend family and relax at least for tonight! Tomorrow, is off to Doula via Abijan, where I'll roam around the country for 16 days of hardcore duty!! yeahhhhh..... I can't wait to have some holidays....

Next Destination

Small update:

Leaving Thursday 29th, West africa.

1) Dubai - Milan (6 hours) - Dakar (8 hours) - Guinea Bissau (15 days)
2) Guinea Bissau - Paris (??) - Cameroon (10 Days)
3) Cameroon - Paris (??) - Brazaville (15 Days)

Return to Dubai.

For the moment I'm staying in Duabi and having a lots of work, but still a lots of fun anyway. Hard to find the time to write in here, but surely I'll soon get bored, or inspired soon to write some more interesting stuff on here, I guess Pakistan was one of the most inspiaring place since I started this blog!

Centrale African Republic

Welcome to the Centrale African Republic! Here is a totally different scenario to the previous two countries! We are now 5 degrees north of the equator, and yet the vegetation is much more somptuous than previously! 60m high trees, very black people, Magnoc is predominantly cultivated, and resources abondant! However, this is also still africa, which means that; corruption, famine, rebellion, road banditery are a part of the "system".

I arrived here early this week, and will leave this saturday, so its not much time to make an opinion of a place with many hidden secrets! Tension is here, people are agressive in asking you money all the time, and getting ripped off is what to expect when buying anything! Womens look at you like if you were a walking golden stick, and mans follows you like if you had something for them! Anyhow, there is still peace of mind to who knows how to talk to them.
I went to a place called Bouar, in the north west of the country, there, it is very rural with a lots of magnoc farms. They live in reddish bric houses all located by the main road.They are very very friendly! A smile is sufficient to wake up a crowed of kids around you! The scenary, is very green with a lots of trees, its a semi-jungle like landscape! There are not really much to see apart from trees and bushes! The aera, is also under constant pressure with the bandits coming from Tchad. Unfortunately, its an aweful drama up there, due to them! They attack constantly villages, rape womens, kill children and entire families, just to get robe the very little these have. They turn upsidedown entire villages to get nothing sometimes! People are scared, but have no choice than to keep their business running, and try to sell their magnoc by the road side! I will always have a deep respect and admiration for theses so poor people, but yet so beautiful in there hearts and so courageous! My feeling about CAR are not yet clear, and I wouldnt like to give the wrong impression to anyone, and certainly not to myself, so, as usual, I ll paste a few pictures here. Meanwhile I'll try to know a little bit more about this very mystic place!

Wierd!

These days I dont really know much what to write, things are getting settled in something looking like a complete psychological chaos, of course, im talking about where I stand within my own thoughts. The restless flow of wonders and questions passing by my brain cells and stimulating all sorts of stressing epilogue on what to do with it. The pace at which I live, feels so fast. Mostly I dont get the energy and time to write anything. Its just the way it is lately. being in new country for as short as 10 days, and then jump onto another one for the same time. Visiting the four corners of a country in a short time like this makes it feel like you been there for long time. Then yet, you are already in a new place with new people and tasks. Its all very intense! I will have a little more time now in Mauritania, and will have the time to breath and sleep. I guess its what I need, then I shall be able to handle the move around a little more! Next week, Ill be in Centrale African Rep, a mutinery has taken place there, and despite my efforts to work out the danger level of this area, I didn't find much on it. So will see, surely ill be up here to tell you about it, inshallah!

hmm... well, I guess thats all I had to write tonight, I did feel very motivated for writting something but then, it just has all vanished... I guess its a good sign... means I dont have to wonder about anything then.... or should I? should I actually wonder about the fact of having nothing to say? Nevermind!!! pfff.....

I wish you all best of love and luck, love life, love everyone. Stop messing with yourself and trying to find answers to things you are not yet granted to know about. It will come on its time, and you wont have anything to wonder about it!

Love.

Note: Don't hink ill read this post as Im not exactly sure why I wrote it and what I wrote in it... wierd..

Transport sharing!

Why should they walk when they can get a lift?

House of the world

As previously, its time for a new house! This time, it will be two houses. Ethnics diversity in this country is one of the biggest in Africa, therefore, there is a lots of different types of houses, I have chosen some of them to give you a sample idea of what it looks like around here. Two different styles: Saharian & Sub-Saharian! More late, I have to go now! (will edit later).

2000 Kms journey of joy!

Im almost done with this hectic journey through south Mauritania. I had no idea, once more and as always, I discovered just one more of the wonders that nature has donated! Going on this long journey round the bush to do the job, sounded like a rather tiering thing, but at this stage, after the 1900Km we have done in 2 days, 100 Km seems like 10, and 3 hours sleep, like 6! The reward of course, is to see the unbelievable scenaries Mauritania has to offer! Anyway, since my great friend and brother from Pakistan asked me for Dunes, I guess its time to start the show!

This is just for you "Baba", you asked for Dunes, so here is my gift :-) I hope Pakistan is going along, soon you will be rewarded! Home sweet home! Ill write up some more soon, but very much on the move at the moment! Im sure you know how it goes!

This is when the green comes in! Animals here are free, they have so much flat and free space, it would probably take a life time to get across! Of course, the "Berger" aren't far, and alsway know where to find their troops at sunset!

I love africa, and trust me, its a much richer land that some thinks, its probably far beyond a lot of people's concept of happiness, but a smile like this, is on every face here, and yet, they have nothing. I Could't resist put up the below one, we stopped there to buy milk, straight out of the cow, and these kids bought me even more happiness! Tomorrow, I'll see them again!



Note for my friend below:



J'espere que tu verras cette photo, meme si je sais que tu n'arrivera peut etre pas a la trouver, faute d'internet, je sais que peut etre, tu liras ce message que nous avons laisser pour toi! Bonne chance, et que Allah te protege!

Keyve hallouka, ya akhi.Nahnou vi kaedi, nousselimou ka. Allah ya awnak ente wo khaimatak. Ahlen wo sahlen.

Mauritania (Western Africa Coast)

MMauritania, has suffered a lots of political tourments, and almost annual "coup d'etats" since a decade! Its probably on its way again at some point this year, but people seem to have got use to it. It also has been in conflicts with Morocco, and Senegal, for economic and territorial difference!

Its also a 700 Km white sand beach sea front. Petrol has been recently found here, and of course, foreign companies have started emerging in the capital, encouraging a rise in price of everything! Hotels have now trippled their prices in some places! 25% of the Mauritanian population is in the capital Nouakchott, and the diversity ethnologic present here is impressive!

If you have Google Earth INSTALLED, Download this, and open it! :-)

Here (in the north of the country), you can find the longest trains in the world (G.earth click here), which relay the Fer mines cargos to the port!

This vast and infinite beach and green see so far retained most of my attention! But lets see what else there is when I return from the in-coutry trip (see map).
Distances across the country are huge, and tomorrow, when I'll leave for the begining of the mission, I'll hopefully be prepared for some of the longest trips by road I have ever done! "Aioun" is at more than 1000 Kms from Nouakchott, and all this as to be done in one go on the return! Youpiee!!! :)

Anyway, hopefully I will have a lot more picture soon! I'll be back on Wednesday, inshallah. But so far I really like this dry and desert country!

Few pictures from Burkina Faso

Unfortunately, I didn't get too much time to picture around in burkina, but at least I took a few picture from the roads on my way through the work itinary.

I didnt know that crocodiles are a sacred reptile (in BKF)! like the cow is to India,while the lovely Geko (the one that wakes you up at 4:00 in the morning) is evil, and must be killed when inside a house (apparently, the Geko would bring bad luck, and could be used by the "voodoos"' to spell cast darkness) !

On the road between Fada N'gourma and Dori, its about 4 hours drive, and you do need to have a 4WD during the rainny season! You might also want at time to have a swimming suit on while sitting in the car, you never know, it could all suddenly swing!

Burkina Faso (Western Africa)

I know it has been along time since I have not updated anything here, but when I'm home, I have no good internet, and also a lots of other things to focus on. I had a great time back home and enjoyed spending my time with the family doing nothing but relaxing, swiming, and regular gym!

Now I am back on track, and already, I should speak in the past of the Burkina Faso! I arrived in Dubai around the 2nd of August, and after spending a suprising 2 weeks there,I was eventually sent to an other mission than the one they were planning for me. In fact, when I was in france I was told I would go for some south american countries, which I was honestly really happy to go to ( i have never been to south america), but at last, it came up with a delay! So meanwhile I had to do something else, untill the other missions gets confirmed.

Round the 15th of August, I arrived in Ouagadougou, the capital of this little country that is Burkina Faso (use to be called "Haute Volta"). It is surrounded by Ghana, Mali, Niger, Ivory cost, Benin. Its a small country and you can easily get across in a long day of drive! For my side, I only roamed around the eastern side and the capital! With only 8 days, I had to rush a little everything and get my stuff done on time! I stopped by the towns of: Ouagadougou, Fada N'gourma, Dori and Bani where I spent a night (except Bani)! It is a very nice feeling to be able to communicate in your own language! Indeed, in Burkina Faso, people speak French as a primary language, at least in the capital and big cities! I had to catch up with my french which has been the least of my words for the last two years living in my suit case! I will remember most from this sample I got of Burkina Faso, the kindness of the people, the roads flooded of water, the Malienne Mosques of Bani, and of course all the people which I had the honor to spend time with!

I dont have much time right now to write much, but at least this is what I could do for now. Ill paste below a few pictures more!

"I Take my life everywhere but Home"

Dedicated to a one of a kind amazing human! (check link: "A Great Human being")

Its now only two weeks to go before the start of my holidays, its been 5 months spent in Pakistan, and its been an other mind expanding and twisting experience! I can only now, 7 days away from the end, feel the release of this undercover stress that has been accumulating during all this time. Its like its slipping out of my body little by little and whenever I take the time to look at it releasing me!

This is how it does since I have started this work. It’s a cocktail of emotions and discovery in everything who makes me. Before, when I was in Europe, it was a whole lot different, although I was living in different country and de-rooting myself all the time to experience the life in new countries all the time. I was near home, just a country away from France. I often get asked the question: “Where are you from? Where do you live?”. This is one of the trickiest question to answer for me. Or at least its been until quite recently! What should I say? Oh, I am from France, Brittany more exactly! Or should I say: “ hmm, I don’t actually know dear!”. Either way, it shows that there is something unusual in me that makes me end up in this kind of unexpected troubles.

This goes with the fact that, apart from my parents and two brother, I don’t really have anyone that cares about me. This means that if my family was not there, I would definitely a nomad! I would not necessarly need to go to France on a regular bases. I would not really belong to there! I have moved house about 12 times throughout my childhood, and until the age of 19. By the time, I reached 19, I had lived in all sorts of area which is not city! Country side, small village, small towns, away from pretty much everything a city can bring. Then, by 19, I somehow started moving on my own, and again, from one country to an other. Until I start this humanitarian work, I had moved through 5 different country, and in each lived a life like every others, just like if this country was going to be my new home! However, everysingle time a new country becomes my home, its starting over the whole process of assuming that France is my home! Now that I am on mission, things have taken a higher pace, and rather than starting again a new life every time I land somewhere, I now skip this part where I find a job, I look for a flat..etc, this is all gone now, and everytime I go on a new mission, I already have with me my home! My home is myself, and my suitcase! There is nothing else material in my life that follows me in my life! My suit case is all I have when living for months in a place! What more would I need anyway! There is so much happening around already, that by the time I dropped my suitcase, I have already too much discovered around me to worry about this “little” thing. Im going to be living here and there for while, and whether I have a house/home to myself , is not relevant to what is going to become my life! The people I meet, and spend time with are my life, the things I do to change things or to understand are my life! The rest, doesn’t matter really! It all just a question of having been brought up with roots that reminds me that I am French.

I try to go home as much as I can, but so far, in the last two years I have only managed to return home 3 times and for periods of 6 weeks maximum! Sometimes, I feel guilty, I feel that I am not being a good child to not spend more time with my parents. My loving family which has been the ones to provide me with that special love I needed to keep me on track at times. The best part of this, is that they all understand, and despite the sadness it generates sometimes, they only want me to be happy and do what I have to do. What I have to do is enjoy and live as much as possible of this life journey, its to make sure that everyday I live is a useful and energizing day! And love does not mean possession to neither of us! Love is the key, wherever I am, whatever I do, they are always here in my heart and on the first seat! If ever, I m asked to return home, I will, but on their end they will never do that, because they know I have to live, the de-count started the day I m born! And there’s no time to loose, cause everyday is step further on my journey! This love with the family is unbreakable!

“I take my life everywhere, but not home” why do I say that. Well, if you think about it, my life is for 85% of the year in mission, somewhere in the world, and having defined a little more what’s my home and family while on mission, I see that after all I have with me all I need to call it my life out there. We also often define home as the place we spend most of the time! I spend most of the time with my suitcase & family love, so in a way, I guess that’s where I’m from. A normal life in a strange package!  But all in all its exactly the same as if I was home with them all the time! Except that here, it intensify the love to its edge! My home with family is in my head and heart! The rest, it does not matter. When I go home, I am on holidays! Surprisingly, going home, is me without stress, without the suitcase, and environement, me without this daily discoveries and people. When I go home, its just to relax and enjoy physical presence of my family, share time with them, and not think about anything of life. To resume it simply, think about the one with a daily job in a banque, and a small family! Imagine, that this person, goes on holidays, he lives behind him/her is home and marks. He goes away from home! And when he return, its welcome back! Back to work, to the friends, to the Sunday bingo! Its back to “Normal” again! For me, it’s the opposite, my friends, my suitcase sized home, and my family love is with me all the time, but when I return, I remain with only my family! Everything else has vanished! The discovery, the new cultures, the friends from dubai… just everything! So when I get home, somehow, its like I left my “home” for holidays!

My life is made of the people I meet like you Geirr, and like all the others! Its my family and you all. So, when I don’t have you all, these people of the world, I don’t feel at home! I have to pay a visit to everyone, and see everyone’s home and culture! That is where my life is! And as my family is in my heart is all I need!

A twisting story

This last Saturday, at about 10:00am, I was waken by a phone call from a friend (Pakistani) who wanted to invite me for lunch at his place. I had previously been able to go on previous calls as I had always found something else to do. However, this time, I decided that it was the right time for me to go there, and live something different. The culture here, and the way people leave is very discreet to the outsiders, and unless you really know someone to go in their so close home, you will not get to know or see what is really happening inside these closed houses.

I decided to go there, and got ready to jump in a cab to head towards his place. This friend of mine (Chokot) lives in a place called Rawilpindi. It is right next to Islamabad, through, its a completely different standard of living there. Islamabad is gathering most of the richest people in Pakistan, and sparkle huge signs of upper class town. When I arrived, he was there in the street waiting for us (me & taxi) to arrive and show us where to precisly go to reach his very hidden place. Through some very narrow street where you could certanly fit at most two donkeys side by side, we found a metal green gate to a main building coridor. He was happy to have me on that special day off. On the week end, in this country and most of the muslim countries I have been to before, the mans like to enjoy relaxing all day and doing nothing but chatting with friends, sleeping and eating. I was here to have a more accurate sample of this saying, and check this out by myself. What is exactly happening in those closed houses on the week ends. First of tho, I was there to enjoy being with this friend, and try spend some great time chilling and tasting the locally made food. His "House" looked more like an old appartement on the ground floor. It was separated from the corridor by a thin metal door, that was not even reaching the selling, leaving some space for looks from people going up the stairs across his main door. Once you passed this door, it was then a rectangle type of entrance hall in his appartement. All around the rectangle shaped hall, there was doors. In the middle, it was the water tank with its top opening in the middle of that room. For security purpose, it was covered with a ciment cap. He lead me to his room on the left end side. He didnt show me the other rooms, or anything else, straight as I walk in his home, we took me there. It was his own room in all these doors. All the other rooms, were just for each other members of his family living there. His brother lived next door, his father was also living in that place, and so did everyone from his family! The womens were also here that day, but I did not get much to see of them, ill come back on this later.

In his room, was a bed, a cupboard, 4 chairs including two made out of plastic bucket. He invited me to seat there and have some rest while he was going to look for a friend to join us. He left me with his only child: "Abdoullah"! Very soon, I was surrounded by all the childrens of the house! There was Saad, Abdoullah, Oussama, Soha (girl), and probably an other 4 childrens around me. They were entertained by my look, and talks. It's not everyday that they have a guest looking like me. White, looking strange and sounding funny! While I was sitting on the bed, and having fun with the kids, I noticed how much the women were hidding from me. They were in the kitchen, right across the rectangle hall. On the Room door of where I was, the Sheet was pulling on and off to hide away the kitchen. Everytime a children was passing by, the sheet was carefully put back so that it hides the vision of the kitchen. The childrens were beautiful, they all had their particular charms but all looked awesome! The ages were from 4 months to 10 years old! The 4 months little daugther of Chokot's brother (my friend) was brought to me by one of the 4 years old kids. It was incredible to see that these kids just get so self managed so quickly without the attention of any adults! Through, soon I was about to learn the drawback of letting kids by their own! First, my friend returned, he was accompained of his good old friend which was a women beauty hairdresser. He came in the room, and sat down opposite of me whom was on the bed. Chokot sat next to me, and we started talking a little. The problem was that I cannot speak much Urdu at all, and he cannot speak much English neither! This meant that we shared a lots of silence together during all this time! I arrived there at about 1200 but only eat something much later at around 1600. All the time we were in his room, we were saying not much, entertain the kids, and hear the womens working very hard in the kitchen.

As we were sitting in the room still, he came up with a terrible story! Something I didnt expect to hear, or even less to see! At some points, he started telling me about his daughter. She was probably a year old when this happened. He pointed out to me the main corridor (the same one I came in the first time) and told me: "It's there Fabrice, Its there that she died!" He wasnt displaying a particular emotion on his head at this time, but certainly wasn't talking about something good that happen. He explain to me that he did not only have this kid I had met (Abdoullah), but that he also had a little girl before that! When he told me about her being dead there, and seeing that he looked confortable about it, I asked him: " What happened, how could it happen?".
Chokot: "She was there, found in the water".
I: "What you mean in the water?"
Chokot: "Yes, let me show you picture".
He looked into his drawers from the cupboard and searched for a photo. He showed me a photo of his daughter, she looked beautiful! Abdoullah, who was with us, screamed out the name of his sister! saying, she is not here, no more.. not here! He wasnt crying or anything, but just shouting out loud her name and saying that she was not here no more.

I was a little worried about asking him more about it, cause I Could not understand this water thing, and why she was dead! So I asked him to tell me more if he could.

Chokot said: "Come with me, I will show you".
I followed him to the main corridor which he was pointing out to previously. We arrived there, and he pointed out to me an humble metal made door. Openened it, and unvealed a Turkish type toilet little room.
Chokot: " She is dead here, right here". He pointed out the bucket that was behind the door!
Just there, there was a blue standard bucket, which you would use for any cleaning purpose in the house. Certainly the Blue bucket was 40Cm high, and just below a water tape emerging from the wall above.
Chokot:" She was washing her hands here, and the soap felt in the bucket...then..".
At this stage I didnt need no more explanation, I was astonished by the aweful accident! Their little daughter of a year old, drawn in a 40cm high bucket filled half way with wather! I stopped him from talking more, and simply and spontanously took him in my arms! I could only feel a fraction of the pain he must have been through, but it was absolutely terrible! This bucket I was seeing there, was the one in which his 1 year old daughter died! I could do nothing, but to give him a big hug, and drop a tear!

He was so calm, and self controlled when talking about it. He did see the horror on my face, and we went back into his room in silent. Soon after this he showed me the hand of one of the other children, he was missing a finger, he had put it in a water pump properller. It showed how much the children are at risks sometimes. They may seem very advance in a lots of things, like walking and sorting themselves out, but it also arent that easy sometimes for them to live so free and close to dangers.

As were cruised along the afternoon relaxing, and doing nothing in the room, the womens of the house where cooking all this time and had at no point been allowed to really spend any presence in the same room than the mans. I have bearly seen them, and I have not had the chance even to actually meet his wife at all. I know that she was one of the women that were cooking there, but didnt know which...

The whole experience of spending a day, at this place was an amazing discovery of what lies behind these close door, which arent very open to strangers. The food was delicious, and despite the terrible story, it was a great afternoon! I enjoyed all of it, bits by bits, and will never forget such a day! If you get the chance, spend a day in a house with these beauiful people!

House of the World (II)

Here we are, second edition for "House of the World". Last was a Sudanese typical house, here is a typical low class, but very popular type of setup when entering the nothern area! Here this picture was taken in the area of Pattan! Earthquake proof house aren't an option for the people with low income, unfortunately, most of the population lives in theses onditions. conditions.

Chinese prints

One, of the many, Chineses prints on the KKH.

Local Clothes

Yes, sometimes its also good to adopt the local culture, and enjoy fully being in Pakistan as a local rather than a humanitarian worker! I like to embrasse culture fully when I travel, its part of the travel itself, and generate so much more! its a step forward to understand better, and be better understood with the place you are in!

Friends

(Priit, Marko, Vladim, Myself)